Summary of question 1
The article of Baines, L. A.“From tripod to Cosmos: A new metaphor for the language arts” which was published in English Journal, talking about the development of language writing.
Instead of asking students to write formal academic response, the initiates as The Bay Area Writing Project, putting more emphasis on the process of writing instructions, having students to write different kinds of style to offer the students the trainings of how to write for real audience.
Recently, more people advocate the writing plan of using individual conferences, giving students to make sharing as parts of the daily classroom activities. Through this writing instruction, students may gradually understand what the literary forms of the writing are, lowering the possibilities of students asking teacher for help. Besides, using the computer as the tool of teaching composition has been overall accepted.
The increasing computer facilities offer the language art teachers to guide students how to take advantage of the network resources as the way to write the compositions well. Moreover, the using of the computer work makes more profits than the nonmedia do.
Response
Undeniably, I like the topic of this article very much. I think the author gives a special metaphor to describe the evolution of language writing from tripod to cosmos. The much more complete establishment of the writing instruction undoubtedly gives the contemporary students the systematic teaching to learn more efficiently and quickly about the writing skills.
In the second paragraph, I agree with the viewpoints of the teaching way of making sharing in the daily class activities. By means of discussing and sharing, students may learn more about what the literary forms are, putting these understandings into their composition writing, further elevating the learning effects and decreasing some troubles which come form the misunderstanding of the literary form.
Moreover, this article also mentions about the use of the computer which has gradually replaced the traditional way of writing in the paper. Indeed, the network offers a great platform for students to searching information which may be very useful in our process of writing. (343 words)
11 則留言:
--- I think that you could read over your article again and pay attention to the conjunction problems and then revise it. You stated out the summary and the reflection in a separable way and that made it quite clear. However, you could think of another way to connect each paragraph.
It is very nice that you have included the details of the article so that readers can refer if they want to. You also made good connections between your response paragraphs. But you might use some conjunction words to relate your summary part and response part or infuse them together.
You put some of your opinions in summary paragarphs,so I think you can combine the two part of your essay together in a more coherent way. You do not have to separate the essay. Besides, do not use too many colloquial words such as "talking about". It is a problem the teacher mentioned last week.
I can understand the general idea through reading your summary. But, I think there are still something needed to be improved, such as the transition words between paragraphs and paragraphs. It makes the whole article more fluent. And another point is the use of grammar. It is not like you typing in Word which will automatically help you amend slight errors, so you need to be more careful about it.
Maybe you can divide your long sentence into short ones in paragraph one of your exam essay or you can try to unite paragraph one and paragraph two together. I think that would make the beginning of your exam essay easier to read. On the other hand, perhaps it is good to avoid words such as “talking about” in a more professional essay because the words may be a little bit too casual.
I like your standpoint and I also agree with you. But I think you can support your opinions by spreading the ideas in the article. That would be more powerful. In addition, you can write some lessons that you've learned from the article, like what kind of the impacts it may have on the society. I think that would be more meaningful in your response.
To Joyce
There are some informal words in your academic issue, such as “talking about”, “I think”, “very much”. In addition, the second paragraph jus a long sentence which has no verb. Maybe you can try to combine some paragraphs to show a complete idea. And you also can discuss the article more deeply because your article is too short.
The first suggestion I want to tell you is trying to use conjunction to make your summary fluent and logical. Summary is using our way to express our understanding toward the article, so it will help reader to understand what you want to talk. The second is put more your idea. If you agree,why? If you disagree, you also have to explain more.
Actually, you did a good work.
In my opinion, I think you can improve your writing by reducing oral phrases, like using “talking about”. Besides, I think you can put your summary and response together to write an essay. There are some logic problems in your summary part like the beginning sentence of the second paragraph. In the whole, I think if you rearrange your ideas, it will much better.
In the responses, you analyze the article closely. Adding much more of your own opinion will make it better. Many sentences can be combined into a larger paragraph and should be written as concise as possible. Moreover, do not write the summary and response separately and notice the sentence coherence.
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